&... that scares me. She's been picking up on so much lately I feel like she's growing up too fast. People tell me I should appreciate her intelligence but.. it's hard because she's my baby. I realize I have a problem with letting her grow up, she still hasn't gone to a daycare yet.. I look online and I find some I want to check out but find the task daunting because I know no one will be as good as Mommy & Daddy. So lately we've been trying something a little bit different & finding things for us to do that offers day care. Tonight we went to the casino and it was actually really fun she was at a children's center within the building and she had so much fun. Sometimes I feel like I deprive her of things like that & I know she needs the social interaction with kids her own age, even though I'm like a big kid she's still learning too much way too fast. I kind of miss the alone time I used to have with Ryan because now we really only have it while she's sleeping but even then I get so anxious for her to wake up & play. I don't really know how to find a balance in my life with my time so that everyone is happy.
On a happy note the other day Maliah & I were watching videos on babycenter.com about the growth of babies in the womb & she actually thought the baby on the TV was our baby like at the doctor's office it was really cute because she was talking to it! I'm so happy that she's excited about the baby I know that some kids either don't understand or they're really upset about not being the only one anymore but I think me exposing her to babies at such a young age & teaching her that we love babies and need to take care of them has really prepared her for what it will be like when the new baby arrives.
I honestly feel happy that this finally happened for us again and the way that it did but to be honest, I never really thought past Maliah she was my future I never thought about actually getting pregnant and carrying to term and with the miscarriages it was really hard in the beginning to picture us with another baby. I still have fears about the preeclampsia issue and all the life threatening risks involved with that but I feel like, I've really eliminated the things that could cause that. I guess all we can do is stay hopeful and see how everything goes! On to week 16! Just 2 more weeks until we find out what we're having! =)
