13 Weeks - Where I am today.

I haven't written in awhile but I feel like it, I don't have any updates on baby right now well, other than I check the heartbeat all the time & all seems well! I just can't wait to start feeling kicks I felt them right around this time with Maliah so every little twitch I analyze like crazy hoping I can count it as a kick!


Recently I started thinking about my health and the things the doctor has discussed with me and I really began feeling like.. I should be taken care of this is my time to relax and spend with Maliah she's not going to be an only child anymore & though I know that I can still make her feel like an individual when baby gets here I want to spend every moment until baby's birth with her. SO I decided to resign from my ultra-stressful position with Wells to pursue my career as a stay at home Mommy! I feel great about it, I love being able to just wake up and plan our day how I want to and not have to have stress lingering over me constantly. I like to be able to stay up late with Ryan & talk all night or whatever... :) I feel... very fortunate to be in a position to where I don't have to work at all and I can just take care of my little one's. In a sense, for the most part I've always been somewhat old fashioned obviously not in all aspects of life but with this, I've always wanted to send my guy off to work & stay home. I mean this situation is great because my Mr. works from home so he's around all the time so he won't miss out and come home to hear "guess what Maliah did today!" Or "Ah! the baby hit a milestone" He'll be there when it happens.


At first, I was kind of worried about quitting because I had worked hard to get a position like that but now that I've done it, the stress has been completely lifted from me and I can just sit back & enjoy my pregnancy and Maliah by herself.


We still haven't found out the gender for the little one yet, I want a boy but at the same time that scares me, Ryan is a great guy.. now.. but he was a lot of work lol and took a lot of patience but in the event something ever happened to him (heaven forbid) would I be the right person to raise a good man? I know so many bad guys out there & I know alot of parents think that just having a child & keeping it alive is all they need to do but it's not you have so much on your plate when creating this life morals, respect, honesty.. fairness?? Teaching them all of that and managing your own life?? it all sounds like alot but I know alot of that is crossing that bridge when you get to it. I also would like another girl Maliah is so girly I mean, she's the best mixture she loves girly stuff like me but loves boy stuff like trains and climbing on things and running around which is great but to have a little girly girl would be great too. I guess I really don't care what we're having.. which is definitely showing that I am a person is growing because before, I felt like I had to have a decision on everything but this... I just want a healthy little baby. 4 more weeks until we have a gender scan so we'll see=)