Asking me to put into words how I feel is asking me to do the impossible. I have never in my life felt so elated. My family, they're just absolutely perfect. I can't explain the love I have for my children or Ryan. Even Nolan, he's brand new and I love him like I've loved him for 1,000 days already. Okay the story.
W E D N E S D A Y
We had our regular check-up where I saw Michelle, my nurse practitioner who has always leaned more toward the cautious side of things. She and I have a really great patient-doctor relationship, she reads me really well and I'm able to tell her just about anything without feeling stupid or weird. Anyway, she was really paying attention to my legs, feet and ankles with the high blood pressure. She did some labs and apparently told everyone in the office that if my levels were up, that I needed to head over to the hospital for induction because she wanted this baby out of me!
T H U R S D A Y
On Thursday I call the office just to see what is up with my results, I leave a message and the triage line calls me back to tell me they've been trying to reach me but they had the wrong number and that we needed to go into labor and delivery to have our son. Emotions went crazy, I was really excited but so scared. I told Ryan to drop me off at the hospital while he met my mother in law in Blythe to bring her to our house for the weekend to watch the girls and of course, meet baby Nolan! I get to the hospital, they're doing testing.. the baby just won't wake up, his heart rate is fine but on the "normal" side where they wanted to see more movements out of his body as well as heart accelerations. They sent me for an ultrasound and then told me I would be going home. Thoroughly confused, I called Ryan crying because we all mentally prepare ourselves each time we go to labor and delivery, we're preparing for the birth of our son, preparing for the pain and preparing for our relationship to grow stronger. When we are sent home, we are majorly let down and feel like we're not saying the right things to get the proper attention when we know that something is wrong. The shifts at the hospital change, my doctor is then on call and I get a new nurse. She runs through my blood pressures and calls my doctor who says I need to be induced urgently. So the process begins, Ryan still isn't back yet and I walked into the hospital about 4cm so I know this time it was going to go really fast. They started the pitocin at 10pm, Ryan arrives shortly after. I decide to get the epidural again just because in the back of my mind, I have prepared myself for the worst, lack of fetal movement can be a large red flag for development issues so to ease myself, I opt in for the meds. The anesthesiologist comes in and is ready to get down to business, I start shaking and freaking out thinking about paralysis and all of the side effects. FF, its over and I ask the nurse "are people usually this freaked out for the epi?" she says "no.. not usually" haha so embarrassing! I basically hugged her instead of the pillow because she kept me calm and stable while he was inserting it. Time passes and the baby's heartbeat begins to skip, slow and fade. I couldn't have been more frightened in my entire life. I ring the nurse, she comes in and gives me the oxygen mask (which I have never used before) and has me roll to the other side. The cord had been pinched or wrapped around him which was causing his heart to act up. She checks for dilation, I'm at 7cm. She walks out the door and I start to feel the pressure, it was time.. he was coming! My nurse comes back and checks, we're ready to go except for the fact that my epidural failed. I felt everything. I could not believe the amount of pain that I was in. I'm one of those people who holds their breath instead of yelling when they are in pain.. which makes baby's heart rate fall even further. Luckily for us, two pushes and our son was born at 3:06am.
Nolan is absolutely perfect, he has no health issues or problems and the pediatrician does not foresee any issues in the future. Addison was a concern of mine, I wasn't sure how she would take to him as she was very much "the baby" she sleeps in our bed and follows us around for hugs and kisses. While Ryan works, she is in there playing or sitting with him. She has been glued to Nolan's side since bringing him home from the hospital and the first thing she said to him was "huggy" <~ that was an amazing moment for all of us to say the least.
So far, being a Mommy to three has been pretty relaxed, Ryan went to take his Mom back so I've been home by myself with the three kids and they're all so well-behaved its a breeze. For some reason its when Daddy is here that Maliah and Addison start acting all wacky :)
