Lately, I have been reflecting on relationships I have had with people in the past & I've been thinking alot about how in some situations I really treated people who I was close to, unfairly. & with this whole rapture thing going on and how everyone is saying "we don't know when the end of the world is coming it will just happen" makes me realize it's important that I keep those who I want in my life- in my life. With that, the ones who cause harm or unhappiness out. Some people I am unsure of, mainly because of my own insecurities or due to something that's happened to make me distrust them. I realize that for some, I give so many chances to fix it & make it right where others, who are much more important are just cut out and ignored for years. So this past week I've made it my mission to apologize or reach out the people I think should be in my life to some extent whether for me, or for my little one's and see where the relationship goes from there.
I guess for a good year I went through this phase where I lived alone.. I felt like all I needed were Maliah & Ryan other people just caused too much stress, I turned off my phone, deleted my pages & just lived off the grid so to speak but looking back.. past that I remember the social happy person I was and how I miss that part of my life. Especially being pregnant I love people, I love having someone to talk to and what I've come to realize is you have different friends for different things, some to speak about just randomness & have a good laugh & others that you can really get into a deep intelligent conversation with & walk away feeling full and happy or... the need to debate lol. but still either way it's good to have friends & a life full of them.
I feel good right now about reaching out to those I normally wouldn't have I see it as a sign of maturity. Thinking about the reasons why we drifted really makes me feel childish and to be honest in a sense I have a hard time believing the things I've said in the past to people but in some cases time heals everything but everyone is different and won't take a peace offering and carry on with their lives for me, I feel better about trying to mend the relationships as it is & whatever comes from it is just a plus so.. we'll see: )
