Sometimes I sit back and I know that for most of my friends having a baby doesn't mean as much because it seems like everyone does it but things are so different with me, I remember 2 years after Maliah was born we went to the doctor to try and figure out why we weren't conceiving again it seemed like something that should have already happened by that point but didn't.. it was good that the doctor wasn't able to put their finger on an exact reason but did say that I didn't have as many ovarian follicles as most women, so of course that means as I get older my clock will run out more quickly than others. I was in complete understanding of this but didn't understand why if now, I have enough. I'm a firm believer in everything happens for reasons. Maybe we just needed to be more stable before having another baby and the time just wasn't right. Right now, I just feel completely blessed that we've finally made it to the third trimester and only have a few weeks until we have our little baby.
This pregnancy has changed my views on many different things in my life and I've made some really big changes. It's hard to imagine but I decided to end a relationship with someone that I had held onto for about 14 years of my life and it wasn't because of anything major I just feel like sometimes when you decide to end something that didn't have a trigger it's just the right thing to do. I felt kind of like the friendship was one sided and that person was never there for me. Of course, it was a hard decision to come to but thinking back to all we've been through and the fact that I'm still going through some similar situations I just felt it was time to let go. So far I feel good about the decision I can tell that it has relieved a lot of stress for me, and with two young children, I don't need any unnecessary problems in my life.
Recently Maliah has started a relationship with her sister which is crazy I never thought I would really see them together, playing & stuff like I do now. I love that they know each other because they're so young & I feel like even though Maliah will have a new brother or sister it's not the same as having someone closer to her age that she can grow & relate to things with. After meeting my sister, I felt like this was something that had to be done for Maliah I always wanted a sister around the same age as me to play with and talk about boys with and all that fun stuff but never got to meet her. Ryan is still having a hard time with it, I think he will always be stubborn when it comes to things I want he's the type of person who will say he doesn't like something just because I said I do... just to make things interesting. I think things will end up being good for everyone, there is just alot of people involved, alot of feelings at stake and it's a touchy situation at times.
