21 Weeks - Funny how life works.

Sometimes I think back to the days before Ryan & I started dating and I remember all of the little jokes we had about having kids & how they would sing crazy gangster rap songs & how funny it would for us to have kids together & here we are it's like.. when we were talking about those kinds of things we never, ever expected them to happen like it was all just a joke to us and our friends. The funny thing about that is Maliah is everything we said she would be she sings these off the wall random little songs & has picked up all of the funny wild things he does and is exactly like me with that demanding princess mentality. It's just so weird how you can think up these ideas and have them actually happen a few years down the line. I can't wait to see what this new baby will be like. Maliah has grasped on to different parts of both of us so it's hard to say who she's more like. I can already tell that this little one's personality is different than Maliah's when she was in the tummy I would poke her and she would kick back this one is more like Leave me alone & this one does not let you feel it kick every time I put my hand on my tummy it stops so this one seems a little bit more shy.

My second thought for the evening.. people changing. I always ask myself ; Do people really change? Some people seem to be very wishy washy and sometimes it seems like every time they come back it seems like they try to take on a different personality to try and seem like they have changed. My family seems to take on this kind of personality changing all the time. I find it so hard to understand why people do the things they do and expect to come back like it's not really a big deal. Of course though, for family I have chances. I just feel like every time they leave or I have to push them away, when they do come back.. it's harder to trust, harder to love.. we'll just have to see. This time is only my second down this road so hopefully the road will continue on instead of leaving me in the dust...